Dear Dentist

Dear Dentist
You really are a nice lady, nicer still because I know you knit, because we had a conversation once before. I just don't like coming to see you to have fillings. So much so that now I have decided to buy myself an electric toothbrush and use it for 3 minutes morning and evening, and dental floss. I may even give up cakes and things that are bad for you teeth, because I don't like having fillings ( I have said that already I know). You are a nice lady, but those injections you give are killers, they hurt so much. Then you have your hands in my mouth, doing various torturous things, while my throat feels like it is going to close up. I feel like I am going to drown in my saliva. I lay there and think of calming things and pray for people I know, because the other part of my mind is screaming that I am actually going to suffocate with a latex glove in my mouth. You ask me if I am ok, while your fingers are in my mouth, and I go uhuh (means yes). Then you get the drill out, it makes a noise like chalk down a blackboard, and I try to not imagine all the bits of old amalgam fillings (shows my age) that are going down my throat, which could induce cancer in later years. Then you put stuff which tastes like play dough in my mouth and press it down ontop of my tooth, feels like my jaw is going to drop off, you push so hard. My mouth is aching as it has been open wide for ages, and you say open up, just a bit longer. And then finally it's finished, the filling is done, then you tell me that I can't eat for an hour, what after all that torture, no chocolate, sweets or cake as a treat for the intrusion. Well, not sure I will be coming back for a while, but I will be flossing. And I do still like you, but only because you knit.